Last night was the 25th anniversary of Oscar and Marisela Galvez, the people I´m living with in Peru. We all went out for dinner and came home and had a dance party in the living room.

I´ve been trying really hard to find a wife while I´m here in South America. But it hasn´t worked very well. There are plenty of girls who are, initially, excited to meet me, but it seems to break down somewhere. It has nothing to do with our only being able to communicate like children; I think it has to do with my dancing. Latin people love to dance. They wiggle their hips all over, and I don´t know what to do. I try to dance, but I look as stupid as you would expect. One girl said to me while dancing, "Tranquilo," which basically means, "calm down."

I think I´ll try bull fighting next. Girls like that, right?